'Tis the day after Christmas and I was wrong in my last blog 'bout things returning to normal - far from it.

I find myself missing my brother, Jon, at the oddest times and places. I was his caregiver every Saturday and Sunday on the second shift, in addition to seeing him various times during the week. On weekends, we would always talk about completely unimportant things, like custom hot rods we might have seen on some TV program, Alabama or Illinois football (he was an Illinois grad), or - our favorite - Braves baseball. Its these conversations I miss and which will bring me to tears quicker than anything else. I'll be cruising along on autopilot, as I do more and more lately, and a random thought, sight or sound jerks me to a halt and the brain goes, "I've got to call Jon about this." , or, "I've gotta get a picture of that and e-mail it to Jon." That's when the empty feeling in the pit of the stomach hits you and your gut starts doing flip-flops. To those of you who read this and have lost someone close, none of this is new and certainly not unique to me, but it does give me something to write about and , hell, it may even be somewhat therapeutic.

Ambush, the Alabama State Championship Shoot, went off without a hitch, although I did not accomplish my goal of improving on my last place finish. Yet, due to category choices and lack of other competitors in my age group and category, I was the 2009 Alabama State Champion Senior Frontier Cartridge Duelist. Funny as hell, isn't it. Jon would have gotten a big kick out of that and would have told me not to worry about it.

At the end of November, I had the second revision to a total knee replacement on my right knee. That makes the third surgery on that knee this year. I'm still on a cane and going to therapy three days a week for that and the docs can't tell me if the surgery was successful or not.

My wife and I moved back to Tennessee in November, also, and now live in extreme south-central Tennessee.

Well, that's it for this post. See y'all on down the trail...

Well, folks, its been a rough time for me and mine. My brother died on August 7th, and I guess it just took the heart out of me.

I've had a hard time concentrating, I fall asleep at the drop of a hat (and it don't even have to be a cowboy hat, neither!), lost my appetite (not just for food, but for most everything), and have neglected my family.

This week is the 13th Annual Ambush at Cavern Cove - the Alabama State Championship for the Single Action Shooting Society, and I'll be trying to better my dead last finish from last year. We'll have over 200 shooters this year - a new record and a real testament to the quality shoot put on by the members of the North Alabama Regulators - the host club. I'm hopin' this starts me on the road back to normalcy.

Thanks to all who sent up prayers and good wishes. They were - and are - greatly appreciated.

Hardest Post I've Ever Had To Write

As a lot of you know, my younger (58) brother has been in the Medical ICU at Huntsville Hospital for the past 2 1/2 weeks, and has been in the hospital 10 out of the last 11 weeks altogether. It started out in May as a kidney infection that caused him to lose a kidney six weeks ago. Its been downhill since then - the remaining kidney doesn't seem to want to work, so he's on dialysis five hours a day. He has a yeast infection in his bloodstream, caused by the antibiotics used to keep down infection. He had a cantelope-sized psuedo-anuerysm (sp?) (docs also called it a hematoma) in his right thigh caused from blood seepage when they removed a pair of temporary dialysis catheters to install more permanent ones. His right lung has collapsed twice in the past two weeks and they think it is getting plugged by mucus, but they are having trouble getting that out since he has no lung muscles due to his paralysis at age 14 (1965),and almost cannot cough at all.

Today he told me that he is tired of fighting, tired of being sick and tied into machines that tell him when to breathe, pee, poop, etc. In short, he wants to quit. It'll be the first time he's ever give up in his life. He can't envision going back home and living the life he did just three months ago, since the docs say he'll require dialysis 3X week (to start) for the rest of his life. He's gonna talk to our Mom in the hospital tomorrow morning and then he will decide whether to discontinue all further medical treatment.

My family and I would appreciate any prayers, good wishes or kind thoughts that y'all can spare for Jon 'Rump' Edmonds. I'd sure like to keep him around a while longer............

--------------------

Bama Red"

Trail Food

Well, last night, the Missus and I decided to invite ouselves to dinner with our middle girl, her husband and one of the granddaughters at the one and only cantina, El Coyote, in the bustling metropolis of Gurley, Alabama. Needles to say a good time was had by all - good Mexican enchiladas, chimichangas, smothered skirt steak and, for the grandddaughter, who thinks McDonalds and Wendy's are the epitome of fine dining, chicken wings! Cooling adult beverages flowed for those of appropriate age and Carly chased her wings with Coke on the rocks!

Impromptu get-togethers like this can make for some of the most fun times to be had and last night was no exception. It was good to get home and turn on the satellite and watch the Atlanta Braves beat the Milwaukee Brewers 9-4, on the road. Yesterday, life was good.

Faith, Honor and Committment

Some personal situations lately have kept these topics at the forefront of my thinking the past month or so.

Faith can be whatever a person wants it to be. I'm not arrogant enough to tell other folks that my personal beliefs are the only way to get to Heaven, and that if they don't change their ways, they're certainly going to Hell. And I don't think the good Lord thinks that way either. This probably puts me in a minority, but its a minority I am very secure and comfortable in.

Honor and Committment are another matter entirely. They are much more black and white - you either are or you're not. Being a man or woman of honor is not a self-bestowed title. Rather it is one you have to work at every day, with everyone you come in contact with, for it is they who will determine this. You will always know if your words, deeds or actions are honorable; you will know if you are a person of committment and if you keep your committments.

These are things I find myself having to work very hard at, on a daily basis, but I like the person I am becoming better than the person I used to be, although that is not a universally accepted opinion. But I can live with that.

Y'all take care of yourselves - I'm gonna hunker down at the fire for some coffee and supper. See ya down the trail..........

Dreams

In my recent (past 2-3 years) dreams, I'm a down-on-his-luck, modern times cowboy, riding from ranch to ranch, small town to small town, getting along as best I can. In the Old West, this was called grub-line riding, and a cowpoke out of a job could ride his horse from outfit to outfit - doing odd jobs and getting a meal for himself, feed for his horse and maybe a night in the bunkhouse if he was lucky, otherwise he'd sleep in the barn that night. I think it may still be possible to live this way (on a temporary basis) today. 

You have to understand that real folks haven't changed that much in the past 150 years. Many still think that a man's word is his bond and that no written contract can provide more security than a good man's handshake.

If you don't understand this, find a cowboy or cowgirl and get to know them, or just hang around here every now and then and I'll try to explain as we go along.

Time now to shuck the boots and braces and try to get some shuteye before its time to do it all again tomorrow. See y'all on down the trail.............

Its been awhile since I've done anything here, but maybe I can get started again.

I'm one of those folks born out of time. I was born one hundred years too late, give or take a few years. Bama Red is who I am - what other folks call my real name and life are what I was forced into by the mis-timed circumstances of birth. Now that I'm retired and have lots of time (and no money) to devote to my new life, I'll attempt to be a more regular correspondent.

I discovered the Single Action Shooting Society (SASS) in 2005 and immediately felt at home - in short I belonged. Here's their website: http://www.sassnet.com/index.php

That's it for tonight - its late and I'm a tired ole cowpoke. Gonna go unsaddle Stonewall, rub him down and feed him and roll up in my bedroll.

See ya on down the trail...